Things I Have Learnt From Working in a Cinema
by Sylvia A. Winters
I regularly read list articles based on customer service experience, so today I thought I would experiment and write my own. In other words I found an old list I’d made and thought I’d try to fob it off as a proper blog post.
So this is my completely not comprehensive list of things I have leant.
1. Metamorphing into half-animal, half-human creatures often seems entirely plausible. Especially on a slow morning shift when you’ve not slept beforehand because you’ve been working nights up until now.
2. Old people and chickens are the same thing. You can walk into any theatre encore and hear them all clucking. Not sure who told me this one, but thanks for the tip. I now use chicken feed to placate any angry over 65s and it works a treat!
3. The bins are living, sentient creatures. One day they will rise up and destroy us all.
4. There is a special kind of bird that lays eggs filled entirely with popcorn. Sorry guys, but your popcorn’s not vegan.
5. Upselling is a metaphor for life. Everything in life can be upsold, and everyone will try to sell you crap for more than it’s worth. Try not to part with your soul, but know that sometimes it has to be done just to get people off your back.